The campus celebrities idling their way through the student lot in a not-so-lightning fashion are none other than the infamous parking lot parents. More dependable than our campus internet service, parking lot parents can always be counted on to roll in the student lot by 7:30 a.m. and boomerang back right as the clock hits 3 p.m. It wouldn’t be a normal morning if there wasn’t a queue of parents’ cars lined up at the blocked exit entrance, waiting until students stop trickling in.

The utter nightmare that was the traffic congestion of last school year called for some changes in the student parking lot. After a summer of renovation, students were welcomed back on campus this year with a noticeable change: the removal of the temporary outdoor athletics court installed in 2020 to mitigate COVID-19.

This court, once smacked front and center in the student parking lot, was somewhat of an impediment to drivers of the Sage community. Not only was it an odd plot of asphalt blocked off with extensive black fencing, but it also took up space that could have been parking spaces in an ideal world. Add parking lot parents to the equation, and you get the distress of student drivers as they maneuver through cars dropping off sleepy underclassmen in the middle of the road. This chaotic scene breeds even more stress and frustration than that upcoming AP Chemistry exam, especially for our yearly batch of beginner drivers just starting to navigate the rules of the road.

The rush hours at Sage are still no joke but removing the athletics court at least reopens parking spaces, highly sought by those who dread the extra walk back to the car. It restored a glimmer of peace in our taxing mornings.

While the student parking lot is in significantly better shape this year and the security team has been excellent in facilitating traffic flow, there is no deterring the parking lot parents. The situation can get even worse in the afternoons. Walking back to our cars at 3:05 p.m. means we’ll get to the gate at 3:15 p.m. Getting out of class at 3:08 p.m. means you’re already too late to avoid the parents. Not an exact science, but certainly a student-wide metric for your odds of getting out in under 10 minutes.

So, for all the students getting conveniently picked up at the front of the student parking lot, extend a helping hand to those of us trying to reverse out of a parking spot when there is an alarming tail of parent cars behind.

Pro-tip: the back of the student lot is always an option.